Tales of a restless mind

Moooove outta MY way!!!11!

This one is about the kinky cow catwalk.
Just got a call from my Canadian cousin in India, and the most interesting subject that was sparked in our conversation involved the farmland animal that produces bondage costumes and Nike trainers, which is the cow.
Of course since India is such an awkward country, cows are not made to line up at meat processing factories, so their flesh can be used to make maccy d's or doccy T's, but instead they are worshipped.
That’s right folks, in India, a country with more than a handful of brilliant minds, the general consensus is that cows are meant to be worshipped and are given just as much freedom as any human, IF NOT, MORE.
In case you didn't know, the caste system in India still has its precedence in the social network of India and people of different castes aren't meant to meet, never mind marry and each caste has its own community.
The lowest of all castes is sometimes noted for being "untouchable", most probably since the untouchable caste in India lives on the streets and does the dirty work of cleaning the streets and begging.
If an untouchable was lying on a street, either out of protest or because he was tired, push would come to shove and someone from a high caste will not give a shit and run him over. No kidding folks.
Now Imagine that situation with the holiest of holy, the cow lying on the street, being arrogant and stupid as all animals are* Now if a person wanted to get past this cow, he would have to stop the car, turn off the engine, take out the yoga mat out of the trunk, lay out the mat before the cow and meditate on the mantra "get out of my way, get out of my way, get out of my way..", when the cow does move, which he does after a couple of days, the man makes an offering of spermatozoa to the cow so that his future generations will be fertile.
If the cow is moved by human hands, not only will the town suffer years of retribution, but the authorities will be notified and by the end of the day you will be a dead man.
Bart: Don’t have a cow, man.
*Except for you Jessie, tears roll down my face as I remember you. My lovely albino Guinea pig, how I miss you. :(


Anyways I digress, lately I’ve been watching a lot of movies, in fact I hardly go a day without watching a new movie at the end of the day. This is due to the fact that the university library hosts a wide variety of Movies, as well as the fact that I don’t go to the strip club every night snorting crack out of some hoes poonani, whilst shpunking all over everyone in the club like I should. it’s a sad life that I lead.

posted by Drunken Monkey @ 10:02 AM